The Glue

When I read Daddy,

I almost gave the whole business up.

I thought despair had come

But it was just light passing below my door.

I was wrong, it drifted on.

I could never despair

Like you.

 

That dog of pain had never known me.

The thought consoled me,

What ugly things the brave discover.

 

Please don’t misunderstand,

I would have lovingly bandaged your frayed and tattered hand.

I did not envy you that orphanage,

Those cavernous empty rooms

With walls too damp for warmth,

The door sealed tight with sodden towels.

 

I did not envy you that early morning doctor’s call,

The one that came too late.

Just the pearls

Of that wrecked and electrified mind.

 

So it shook me when I found it,

Busy as I was doing your autopsy,

I read it

In cruel italics,

‘Shown promise at an early age’

Before your Father’s funeral parade,

 

In your bottled up years,

Before they explained how your ink had eclipsed lesser suns,

Way before the salt got in,

You’d shown a pearl of promise.

 

I couldn’t

Conjure a Nazi,

Fashion myself a dimpled brute,

Or break myself up

And leave out the glue.